If I could receive one percent of the revenue The Texas State Fair rakes in each year...I'd buy Big Tex (State Fair Mascot and a fine thumpin' one at that!) a ballin' pair of jeans with butt implants cuz gravity is moving in on ya buddy! Tex just got new boots and a belt buckle last year so I'd add an authentic broke down cowboy hat, put a little pot belly on him, grey up his temples, give him a 'manly" way to wave and spice up his opening lines....but it's only fair to have my opinion...
My maiden name is FAIR. Easy enough.
Just a name...no big deal in Colorado or New Jersey, New York or Washington State,
oh but when we moved to Texas...
Now growing up in Dallas, Texas with The Infamous Texas State Fair, my last name and the teasing it brought kinda grew on my nerves.
In my youth and early adulthood,I'd heard it all relating to what is and isn't fair, how the weather is, what skin type I had and the biggest insult was, and still is, the mis-pronunciation
of those four simple letters F A I R(far,fawr, fay-ah, fa). Back then I would just slap ya when I'd had enough of the insanity. One paddle whipping at Austin Elementary, a three day expulsion from Comstock Middle School sort of cured me of slapping people for mis-pronouncing my name.
Now that I am half a century plus 183 days wiser, I relish the fact that my last name invokes a month long revelry of happy times shared by millions every year. Still get the
mis-pronunciations, I just say "bless 'em", put my hands around their throats in my mind and graciously pronounce the name for them. It's even harder now with the married name of McHam. I just tell them it's like McHamburger, but take the burger off!
Don't Call Me Yellow
For those who know me, I am a photographer by nature and a collector of all things that make me laugh out loud, like I Love Lucy, husbands (2 thus far and the buck stops with HusBob), funky jewelry, vintage cameras and Troll dolls.
The photographer in me decided to throw a little something out there in 2007's Texas State Fair Photography Contest. The theme that year was TEXAS (of course). Now people in Texas may take pictures all around the world, but if they print them or put them on their computer(s) in Texas, then it's fair game. Cheatin' is what I call it but let me get to the moral of this tidbit. I gather Lil Yella Gal (troll's name) and have a mini photo shoot and submit the best of forty shots.
I get a certified letter in the mail two weeks after dropping the photo off at the Fair's Contest Hall.
There were 137 photos entered.
47 were about Texas.
12 about the State Fair,
which I considered entering four other photos in this field.
The rest were cute dogs and children, bunny rabbits, THE PYRAMID in Egypt (like really folks...) and tons of flowers.
My photo was NUMBER ONE of 13 HONORABLE MENTIONS.
The photo below is entitled
THE YELLOW TROLL OF TEXAS
The idiot smiling above is me....even went to the Fair with my Dad, Buffalo Will Fair. He was so proud and had them put the yellow ribbon back on my picture when some kid rammed into the glass because he was hopped up on cotton candy. Fry Me To The Moon
Within the 277 acres that is The Texas State Fair, Everything that is Edible should be Fried. New state motto eh, Governor Perry?
From years past: Viva Las Vegas Fried Ice Cream,Fried Cookie Dough,Fried PBJ & Banana, Deep Fried Latte.
2008 gave us Fried Coke, Fried Grilled Cheese Sandwich, Fried Banana Split,Texas Fried Jelly Belly's, Fried S'mores, Fried Waffle Balls, Fried Moon Pies and FriedHoney-buns
2009 gave us Fried Butter, Fried Mac and Cheese, Fried Twinkies and Oreos, Fried Pickles, Fried Green Goblins, Fried Peaches and Cream, Country Fried Pork Chips, Fried Bacon (uh, huh)
This year 2010 we have to contend with Fried Beer, Fried Texas Caviar(black eyed peas), Fried Frito Pie, Fried Chocolate, Fried Margarita, Fried Lemonade, Fried Club Salad and Deep Fried Pop Tart.
If I did not want to die by way of Over Used Fair Grease, I would happily feast upon all that is crunchy. Instead I took photos of the signs to prove, we Texans can and will fry everything.
I don't like raw dough so for it to be fried is mind boggling'.
It's a biscuit dough with a pat of frozen butter in it then fried. Hey can I have some butter outside my biscuit please!!
Self explanatory...
Viva Las Vegas Fried Ice Cream Beer...naw - the beer was just the next word in line!
Okay - that's do-able but you get two Fred Flinstone ribs mostly bone.
Fried Cheese - Mozzarella Sticks - That's cheatin'
Hollow Cherry Peppers with spicy chicken and guacamole stuffin'.....I don't like cherry peppers.
Didn't ask. All I could see a lack of customers....moving along....
I didn't say Texans could spell - that should be Grilled Cheese !
Tried the Peaches and Cream last year - MOST EXCELLENT - with raspberry sauce and homemade whipped cream!
Now I heard this was salad mix with a strip or two of chicken rolled in a flour tortilla, battered and fried. Sounds too healthy for me (lol).
Their cheese was the color of their sign, beware what will be coming out of your backside at midnight.
Plantains. Should have been. But they used really ripe bananas. Should have made Fried banana Pudding.....maybe that is slated for next year.With that here's my viewpoint of my beloved "namesake"
Stacked Trash Cans.
FYI:Coupons are 50 cents each - - -Lunch: Catfish with Fries and White Bread (16 coupons), Fruit Cup(8 Coupons), Bottled Water$1cash, Root Beer (4 Coupons), Gordito (9 Coupons) You do the math!!
All that's left - a belch and a full belly.
Yellow Troll Of Texas with a Texas Favorite - Fried Texas Caviar (black eyed peas)
Frito Pie Shooters(4 Coupons), Texas Caviar(9 Coupons) and a Fried Bologna Sandwich (6 Coupons)
Title: Clutter Buster
Bob thought he'd be clever and take a picture of himself taking a picture of me...Uh, huh.
Big Tex gone Hollywood!!
Is that where fingers go these days?
My handsome HusBob, relaxing on the Fair Grounds.
So is Bog Tex halting traffic with his swishy hands - seriously, they need to change hos posture!
I got run over by the second drummer in line. it was either take the hit or fall onto the stroller behind me cuz Bob was trying to get me outta the way - but a photographer never misses the intended shot.
Sunlight and Pings. Can you get close enough to see the dents on the instrument. I love that sorta stuff. Shiny and dingy!
ENORMOUS lines for this wheel. Went on it last year - not worth it- you spend 95 percent of your time loading riders so you don't get to go around more than once.
Spiderman +Dad + Slide = State Fair memories
Just because I thought it was a pretty shot.
Flower at the Parade.
When Oprah came to town last year.
One Clown at the Parade - look closely and you will see what I mean.
Bob HATES this ride - I love it - it always makes for great night shots and vomit to come slapping you in the face from someone who shouldn't have had that chili dog before riding!
oooo - pretty colors!
Last year for the Lucky Duck Game - you now have to buy game cards to play the games. Can you say Ripoff?!!
Hook'EM Horns!!
My entry for this year's State Fair Contest - I dropped the ball and didn't enter - but will next year!
I like this shot too -Ghost Horses and Ferris Wheels.
What happens when the vegetables don't get their artificial flavorings.
I bet the farm on the rider in green and orange. Lost the farm, but looked good doing it!! Another State Fair Photo entry for next year.
Lil Tex - don't know what the prizes were but lots of kids at that booth.
I took this photo last year intending to put it in the contest for this year. I didn't. Guess what? Someone else did and won First. Ain't that a kick in the dentures! Oh well...Hope you get a chance to visit my Namesake before the fun retires for another year.
I think I'll return this coming weekend and do a manic photo shoot of everything that captures my eye - I'm wearing trifocals so six eyes should see just about everything.
